I Worried by Mary Oliver

I Worried

by Mary Oliver

I worried a lot. Will the garden grow, will the rivers

flow in the right direction, will the earth turn

as it was taught, and if not how shall

I correct it?

Was I right, was I wrong, will I be forgiven,

can I do better?

Will I ever be able to sing, even the sparrows

can do it and I am, well,

hopeless.

Is my eyesight fading or am I just imagining it,

am I going to get rheumatism,

lockjaw, dementia?

Finally I saw that worrying had come to nothing.

And gave it up. And took my old body

and went out into the morning,

and sang.

Here is another poem that will mostly strike a chord with many people because it is a poem about worrying. What a hard habit it is to break!

The speaker admits right at the top: "I worried a lot." We go from her garden, to rivers, and to the earth itself. The speaker even worries about how she might fix the planet! This spiral is, of course, recognizable to a lot of us.

The second stanza focuses on those stray worries that hit at the strangest times. That business decision, outfit, lesson plan, break-up, car, vacation, argument, letter, phone call, job interview, dinner, friendship, that thing I said, that thing I did not say, . . . argh!

I can relate to stanza three, although I have given up even pretending I have hope of ever carrying a tune. Here, of course, is more nature, and by using birds and their songs, Oliver introduces something that no one has control over.

Stanza four returns to the speaker with worries that many of us have as we age. "Is my eyesight fading" or was that something else? (We can all continue with this spiral--the pain in my side: kidney disease? That lump, mole, spasm, freckle, cough--what IS it really?) Oliver's three disease-related worries may not be yours, but it probably would not take you a long time to come up with three diseases you worry about getting.

But then the speaker has an epiphany--worrying changes nothing. She shrugs it off, acknowledges her "old body," and goes outside. It's a new day and the speaker does the thing that worried her in stanza 3--she sings.

A big part of changing a bad habit, like excessive worrying, is to just decide to do it. Here, the speaker makes that decision and then acts upon it. This is another great example of a poem telling us how to live (here it is by example), as well as being a good poem to print out and tape onto your bathroom mirror, where you can see it prior to going "out into the morning." Whether or not you sing is entirely up to you.

If you'd like to hear someone singing about not worrying, click here for the video of Bobby Ferrin's song, "Don't Worry, Be Happy." Ferrin was wise to have Robin Williams and Bill Irwin join him in the clowning done in this video.

For some medical advice on the damage worrying can do to your body, click here.

Good Housekeeping has a list from experts on ways to stop worrying. Number 7 is "Get Outside"--Mary Oliver would approve. Click here.

And he's not a bird, and his singing voice isn't, well, great, but if you would like to see Kermit the Frog and a literal cast of thousands (I assume not all of them have great singing voices, either) sing "Rainbow Connection," click here. it is a mood booster!

See you on Wednesday! Get out and enjoy nature!