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My Sex Life by Diane Seuss

My Sex Life

by Diane Seuss

published in Rattle, #16, Winter 2001: Tribute to Boomer Girls

Having a threesome with Jack

Daniels and Billie Holiday.

Garden sex with the dumb serpent.

Sex at the Wailing Wall, the Berlin Wall,

the Great Wall, the Wall of Names. Sex

with Sonny Corleone against the wall during

the wedding. Having horse sex with Mr. Ed

reruns. Olive oil sex with the Big Cook.

Clothesline sex with the chickens hanging there;

with the bodies without heads running through

the pumpkin vines. Having gardenia sex

with my father’s romantic notions of how to get

a girl. Educated sex with the New York Times

paper carrier. Grandfather sex with a swivel

rocker. Camel sex with the butts in the ashtray.

Hot sex with the air conditioner. Having nostalgic

sex with the guy who embalmed my father. Vietnam

sex with Doug, who’s paranoid and gives good head.

Dirty sex with the potato farmer’s daughter. Having

Bob’s Country Club sex with one of the Drake

brothers. The good looking one. Not the smart

one. Not the one who went on to make something

of himself. Chuck, the one with a hi-fi ass. Tamale

sex, going to Juanita’s on a booty call hoping to get

Gabriel’s attention while he leans over the fryer.

Having halfway sex at a rest stop halfway between

here and there, meaning Michigan City, the town

where I was born. Ore boat sex. Mall parking lot

sex. Nun doll sex. Rock me like a baby sex.

The Reverend Al Green sex. Sex in the black groove

of an old record album, sex in the scratch on the vinyl,

sex in the skip, in the skip, in the skip, sex in the applause

of the long dead audience thrilled with Miss Billie Holiday

in a single spotlight singing Strange Fruit. Sex in the dark

after she leaves the stage. Sex on her grave; sex that

blasphemes death. Arrowhead in the heart sex. Sex on the body

of the last buffalo. Sex on God’s welcome mat, in Mother

Hubbard’s cupboard, sex with her poor dog’s bone.

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